The Neurological Narrative: the stories we tell ourselves of fear and faith

As we laid down for bed tonight, our little girl says, "The burgens!" She acted like one was going to jump out and get her, so I playfully said, "Are they going to eat you 'cause you're so sweet?" and pretended to gobble her up.

She was jumpy and cried out like she was truly afraid of the mythical bergens gobbling her up like a troll in the Disney film! I recognized the irrational fear we're all susceptible to and quickly reassured her, "The bergens wouldn't eat you! You're too cute! They'd kiss you all over like this," as I kissed her all over her face.

"Want daddy," she insisted and crawled over to the warm safe hollow in his arms where no big scary monster could ever hurt her and confidently, as well as a nearly two year old can, told daddy, "Burgens wont eat me, they love me, I'm too cute!" Then promptly fell soundly asleep.

Who could argue with that logic? She's pretty stinkin' cute!

~

How many times have I found myself in a similar helpless, frantic state of terror over the mythical boogymen in my own life? Unexpected expenses, illnesses, or much less dramatic, but no less crippling stresses and trials that I face with worry and doubt.

That's right where the enemy wants me; crippled, frozen, useless in the advancement of the Kingdom of God. The mind is a battlefield and when you focus on nothing but negative, there are unfortunate consequences: you feed the fear and you starve your faith.

What story are you feeding yourself today? One of FEAR or one of FAITH?

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalm 55:22

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

~Peace isn't knowing how things will turn out, it's knowing our God is bigger than our problems!
Delanie

a Thimble or Bucket; Proper Perspective

In the 2002 version of The Count of Monte Cristo, there is a scene toward the beginning where Fernand (Edmond, the main character,'s "best friend") is telling Mercedes (the woman Edmond is with and wants to marry) that she should sleep with him and Edmond will never know. She refuses him and when he persists, her response is to reference to Edmond's birthday when they were kids. "Edmond got a whistle for his birthday and you got a new pony, but you were mad because he was so much happier with his whistle than you were with your pony," Then she matter of factly states, "I'm not going to be your next whistle."

I can so relate to Edmond's mentality as described here; happy with whatever he's given, to the point that others become jealous of the joy in him.

What a silly thing jealousy is. It effectively blinds you to your own blessings and poisons relationships to boot.

Life is what you make of it. You have this incredible God-given ability to choose what you will do, say, think and more.

My pastor says, "Some people come to the ocean of God's love with a thimble. I want to be someone who brings a bucket!" or something like that, and I love it! You choose how to do or not do life and the measure you use will be measured back to you, to overflowing! 

The incessant whining about what you "Don't have" or what you'll "Never get to do" will only leave you depressed and highly negative. 

Rather, take a moment to reflect on all the positive aspects to your life; what you Do Have and are blessed to be a part of!

A goal I began striving for long ago is to spend at minimum, 15 of the 1,440 minutes of my day saying under my breath, "Thank you Lord for..., Thank you Father for..., Thank you Jesus for..., Thank you...," it fosters a joy in my heart that cannot be quenched!

Yes, some will despise your green lawn, while theirs withers for lack of water, but water it anyway. Fill up that bucket with some good ole love. Open your eyes to see what good the father has in store for you, then see how much more he has!

Always face the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind

~may the joy in you provoke others to jealousy, so they'll seek out your source and find Jesus!
Delanie

Pets

I would definitely say I am an animal person.

I see a kitten, no matter how feral, I'm likely to chase it down and try to snuggle it. Yes, I may come out scratched, but the satisfaction of soothing a wild little ball of fur into purring, it's greatness! That said, not everyone should have a cat.

I come to a dog that says hello with a wiggle or nudge, I'll scratch behind their ears and give them a good pat any given day.

Zeus, our chocolate lab is one of the most well mannered and friendly dogs I know. He will sit and you can have him stay until you tell him to go get the ball, and I kid you not, that dog will not move until you tell him to go. Minds better than my kids... And he is oh so soft to pet!

I really love animals, BUT I feel a stir inside about pets for some reason. Not like pets in general; I suppose a more apt description would be "Pets for the sake of having pets."

What?

You know, those birthday or Christmas gift kittens, puppies or fish that the child doesn't know how to care for and the parent's don't have time, money or care for, or better than that, the "Johnny Appleseed has a dog, I need a dog!" When said person has no time or attention to devote to said animal. Not everyone should have a dog.

I guess it's the neglect that really gets me.

My favorite is to see animals in their natural habitats. Zoos make me cry. I know they serve good purposes and I'm not ani-Zoo or anything, but I'll make eye contact with one of the gorillas and just boo hoo; big ole soppy wet cheeks and sleeves.

Too much empathy or estrogen maybe... that or humanity. I just hate to see wild animals in captivity.

Zeus is pretty pampered and I love my dog to pieces, but whenever his days are through, I don't believe I'll have another.

Mom has a cat, two dogs and three fish at the moment, and dad has a ranch, so I can love on all their pets whenever I want, but I feel called to love on people more than animals and there are only so many slices of time in a day.

~your time is precious, spend it wisely.
Delanie

Marriage verses Selfishness

After a much needed trip through the aisles of my local grocery store yesterday, I found myself in line with a nice young lady who greeted me with a smile. I learned that she is a senior and we talked of her plans after High School while she rang up my groceries. I noticed she was one of two checkers working that evening and I was already completing my payment whenever the bag boy came to load the food into bags.

He huffed and puffed and whenever I asked him about his day, he complained that it had been a very busy and exhausting day for him, "they didn't schedule enough people," he said, "and I just want to go home." I razzed him a bit about being a "big boy" and doing his job to the best of his ability, even when he doesn't feel like it, then made sure to note to him that he really was doing a good job; sorting the lunch meats and cheese together, frozen foods together and so on, which I appreciate.

I like this kid. He's very smart, and a senior this year as well. On the way out of the store, he was still whining to me and the therapist in me just laughed. "It'll be okay. Take a deep breath, in your nose, out your mouth," I half joked, then did it with him as we made our way to the trunk.

As he and I loaded my car with the assortment of goods, I snagged the bag of cookies my husband had requested and joked with the boy that I would hide them from my husband until he helped me unload the car and if he complained that he didn't see cookies, I would pretend I had forgotten to buy them at all.

He says, "Wow, maybe I don't want to get married, if that's what marriage is like." Again, I'm laughing inside because he has no idea, at seventeen, what silly things you do in a marriage. I gave him the side eye for a minute and saw a young boy who had been handed much, and expected little of in his life and couldn't resist the urge to impart a little truth on him.

"Then don't," I looked him dead in the eyes and replied. "Marriage can be wonderful, but it's work. If you are a selfish person, don't get married. If you can be selfless, go for it." His eyes got huge. I don't think he was expecting a response, and especially a serious one.

I turned to continue choosing the bags I wanted in the front with me and went on, "If you're a selfish person, don't have kids either, for that matter. And I'm not saying have an abortion... if it happens, you man up and be a dad!" I looked back on that last point and gave him my best mom look, to emphasize my words. His eyes were like saucers and his mouth was open a little. I couldn't help but laugh!

We laughed out loud together for a minute at how serious our conversation had turned, and he joked that he was just trying to help me with groceries, and was going to need to practice those breathing techniques again now, as he pushed the empty cart around the car and toward the building. We said our goodbyes and I laughed the whole way home.

That poor kid never saw it coming. Just doing his job (albeit begrudgingly) and some random lady gives him the talk many parents dread, and fail to deliver themselves.

I'm still laughing over this. I could tell he got my message and will chew on it for a while. I hope he carries this truth with him and even shares it with his peers. It would be quite a big deal if more young people got it into their heads that marriage is serious business, and not to be taken lightly. This whole, "It's okay, if it doesn't work out, we'll just get a divorce," mentality will only get you exactly that.

Marriage isn't all cupcakes and rainbows, but it is a beautiful and complicated part of life. If you'll throw in the towel the first time you can't see eye to eye with your spouse, you wont stay married long.

~Life lessons in a parking lot with Lanie

Does God speak today?

"Have you ever wondered why God hasn't spoken to you? Saturday morning around 3 AM I was in and out of the sleep and apparently was working on several different problems that had caused me some concern. God very clearly communicated with me exactly how to address these issues in my life and they are huge." -quoting my grandfather on a past post to social media.

that question... "Have you ever wondered why God hasn't spoken to you?" it's been repeating in my mind since I read the post some time ago.

I have a theory.

My theory is that God speaks all the time and we just tune him out... yup. spiritual selective hearing.

I can remember one time at a church camp I attended, whenever I felt like God spoke to me. I was thirteen and facing a lot of inner turmoil over some pretty nasty stuff going on at home. I was having a lot of self doubt and questioning if my unconventional and oftentimes inappropriate upbringing would adversely affect my parenting ability.

I had decided by age 9 that I wanted to have two children. A boy and a girl, in that order. I had, by age 13, noticed that many of the people who wanted children couldn't have them and those who had no desire to parent had too many!

In the middle of worship that summer, I broke down in happy tears because I felt God tell me that I would not only have children, but that I would be a good mom. Strange, I suppose, that such a seemingly small word gave me a confidence and assurance I carried into adulthood.

I can remember excitedly telling my step-mom about what I heard, whenever I came home from camp, and her nearly falling over faint thinking I meant right then! I had to calmly reassure her that it was a future promise, not an immediate sort of thing. I learned then that whenever God speaks to you, others are rarely going to understand it the way you do.

I'm crazy blessed to say I do, in fact, have a boy and a girl, in that order. Also, their childhood is turning out to be a world of different than mine was, thank God.

Despite our shortcomings and those of our own parents, my husband and I are doing our best to raise these children up in the way they should go. We're by no means perfect, but we try and that alone is half the battle.

~Have you ever clearly heard God speak to you? 
Delanie

A time to be born and a time to die...

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 lays it out pretty cut and dry that there is a time and season for everything, including death.

As far back as I can remember, I've held the belief that whenever it's my time to go, I'll go. I don't fear death, because I see it as more of a new beginning than the end of everything.

Within the last month, we've had two family members die in quick succession; one great grandmother (94 years) and one great-great-aunt (80 years), both well advanced in years and both in poor health the last years of their lives.

Rather than feeling sad and lamenting over their deaths, I find myself happy and rejoicing for them; their pain is over and their suffering is through! The troubles of this life are over for them.

I guess to some it would be strange to be okay with death, but I've got news for you folks, we're all going to die one day and quality of life is kind of a big deal. Who would want to live to be a hundred if they're incapacitated in every way and in constant pain? Definitely incentive to respect and care for the one human meat suit you've been blessed with.  

~thankful for every moment with them, and grateful the Good Lord took them home in His time.
Delanie

Gender Roles

I'm strangely okay with being a woman who stays home with her children.

Amidst an awkward conversation I participated in recently, I was informed that women are responsible for the tank in the economy. Yes, you read that right. Because we want all the men's jobs.

It's not the stock market crash or even the world wars that have devastated and reshaped the American economy over the years, it was the Women's rights movement. 

What the what?!?

I wont dignify the conversation with a replay, but summed up: if women just did what they're supposed to do and left the world of business and politics to men, everything would be just dandy! 

Superficially, this sincere argument, which he wholeheartedly believed in, irked me a little; being a highly intelligent and capable woman, but deep within, it brought me to the legitimate question of gender roles and my place in this big ole world. 

I look at my husband, a physically stronger human who excels at difficult and mundane tasks I would have no desire to do, which he tackles with ease. Then, I observe my ability to multitask efficiently and accomplish intricate and delicate matters, he would surely bungle. God didn't make man to be alone, we're supposed to be a team. Everyone is different, and we all have strengths and weaknesses. I'm good at taking care of kiddos, so I happen to fall into that stereotypical woman role, I guess.

I chose to quit the workforce, with the support of my husband, whenever we brought our first child into the world. I didn't chose this because it's easy, or because it's "my place" to do it. According to this man, I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, but according to certain familial authorities in my life, I'm wasting away my time and should be sending my kids to daycare and participating in the workforce and playing my role in society instead.

Women's rights movements, from what I remember in history class, have made it their ultimate goal to attain financial equality in the workplace as their male counterparts. I guess my point here is, what about a woman's "right" to stay home with her children, before they begin their formal education? Is it really too much to ask, to be the one to hold your child whenever they've scraped their knee, or had their feelings hurt? Or to be the one to properly correct inappropriate behaviors that if gone unchecked will become unhealthy patterns as they grow older? 

I'm not sure anyone has the perfect answer to these questions, but I do know what I AM doing... I'm doing whatever needs to be done, and is in my power to do, to the best of my ability. 

Right at this moment, that means toilet training, encouraging an excitement to learn and instilling a healthy respect for authorities into my small children. I may not be conquering a mountain or changing the course of history, but I'm rocking this mom thing! I love my place in this world!

~"Whatever you do, do it with all your heart, as unto the Lord and not unto men." Colossians 3:23,
Delanie

The thing about Sunday...

"The Sabbath." 

"Black Sabbath?" 

"No, like THE Sabbath." 

"Huh?"

What does it mean to "take a sabbath" in our day and age? I asked myself this recently when some random movie I was watching mentioned "Observing the sabbath" in a comical, yet intriguing way...

I've been exploring the subject and meditating on the concept, so here's what I've got:

First I broke out the old King James and read Exodus 20:8, "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy." Okay.

So, like 'Remember' as in, "Hey man, you remember that time we...?" probably not, right?

Then I remembered that preacher guy saying something about "context matters." huh... let's see then.

~

Exodus 20:8-11

8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.

9 Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:

10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:

11 For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

~

Oh Crap. I don't work Sunday, but my server at that mexican food joint in town does, and Lord knows we eat there after church every time I'm up visiting family and going to church in my home town... greaaaaaaaaat. Now I'll feel guilty every time mom and I run through the drive thru at FasTaco cause we're "starving" after church. 

I seem to remember something about food though... didn't the bible say something about food?

Yup. There was something about food. It's called BE PREPARED. 

~

Exodus 16:29

29 See! The Lord has given you the Sabbath; therefore on the sixth day he gives you bread for two days. Remain each of you in his place; let no one go out of his place on the seventh day.”

~

Well I don't know about you dude, but I'm feeling pretty convicted over this one... Thank you Jesus for dying for my sins because I'd surely go to hell after all the Sundays I've either eaten out or been a server myself!

Another question remains though... if we're not supposed to "go out of [our] place" how do we go to church on Sunday? Methinks there is more to this than meets the eye.

~a prayerful and introspective Delanie

Delusions of Grandeur

*Nerd alert*

Periodically throughout my adult life, I come to a place where I crave a deep and complex story. I love to read and recently have started to do that again (difficult task with small children), and someone told me there are a gazillion (his word) Star Wars books out there... I foresee a visit to the library in my future! 

Love me some Star Wars. 

I'm sure I'm not the only one, but I tend to prefer to watch Episode IV first, then V and VI, before going back to watch Episode I, II and III (Now there are more, so this may change). The development of the story and a better understanding of the complex and interwoven storylines seems to come out of it this way. Maybe it's just me... 

Anywho, we recently had our annual Star Wars Marathon, where we raid my dad's movie collection and borrow all six of the first Star Wars movies to binge watch (sometimes more than once through).

I love how good movies always have new little nuggets of information for you to take away, each time you watch. I caught one, this go round whenever Han said, "I'm out of it for a little while, [and] everybody gets delusions of Grandeur!" 

He was not the first person in the series to say the phrase, pretty sure C-3P0 said it of R2-D2 whenever the hyper drive wasn't working on the Millennium Falcon and R2-D2 stubbornly fixed the ship in spite of C-3P0's criticism. 

Just a thought here, bear with me. 

In each instance, Luke and R2-D2 carried out the exact intended purpose they set forth to accomplish.

Funny thing about KNOWING what you're doing; from the outside, it may look like you've lost your mind.

Sticking to what you KNOW and doing what you DO, in spite of the imminent criticism sure to fly your way, GETS THINGS DONE. 

as that chunky dude that all made us laugh in high school said, "Git 'er done!"

~You do you, I'll do me, we get a lot more done that way,

Delanie

When calls the heart...

Music is Emotion, expressed out loud, can't you feel it?

It's probably been over ten years since I've watched Armageddon, but if I hear the song "I don't want to miss a thing," my throat gets tight and my heart aches... it's been so long I'm not even sure why anymore, but THAT'S the power of music. 

Technically time travel doesn't exist, but turn on a song you listened to, sang or heard repeatedly at some emotionally charged point in your life and FEEL for yourself the power music has to transport you to another time and place. 

Can I confess something to you? A dirty little secret? 

My main issue with church as a kid was the music. *drops the mic

I wanted so badly to connect with God at church, but whenever the seemingly random songs were sung, and I read along with the repetitive and dry lyrics, I found myself angry rather than praiseful. Angry on behalf of God, whom we were supposed to be passionately praising. The lack of emotion evoked in the songs left me with a bitter taste in my mouth and a feeling that something wasn't altogether right, here. 

I remember whenever that all changed. It was around sixth grade, whenever a friend, invited me to go to "Pre-games" where a bunch of us kids could walk to a local house after school and eat snacks, hang out and wait for the church van to pick us up, then we'd all ride together to church where our parents could pick us up afterwards. 

I found something at that church that I had never experienced before. Something new and refreshing and PASSIONATE; tear-jerking praise and worship music, delivered by a rag tag band of Jesus loving people who led so many of us wayward youths into a closer walk with Him. 

My heart was broken and yet strangely the ache deep in me was quenched at the same time. 

I remember, it was Kyle Sherman (before he was big time on the radio, You Go Man!!!) who sang lead and played guitar. 

It was so real and raw and I knew shortly after I started attending there that I would one day sing praise and worship on stage and lead groups to Jesus through the God given ability he had blessed me personally with.

That was the beginning of something.

Then, years later, after much living, learning and growing, I was invited to another church that took that love of Jesus and all things Kingdom to a whole new level. 

I was compelled by the spirit in me to offer my time to help in any way I could, but ultimately I felt called to the praise team, and as He would have it, that's exactly where I found my overflow. I've never felt so passionate for the Lord as I did singing with those wonderful people. I would just close my eyes, raise my free hand, sing and sometimes cry as I swayed to the beat. 

My heart was so full. It was the most amazing thing, to do something I've loved doing since I could speak, but have never been confident enough to do in front of anyone, until then.

I've been terrified to sing in front of anyone my entire life, and the story of how God developed me; my character, my maturity, and especially my Confidence, is quite something.

So I can sing... okay. Does that make it a Calling? I think so, but lets dig deeper.

One of the big questions I had for God, whenever I took my 40 Day Fast from church, was, "What am Called to do?" 

The scary part is not that he answered, but the quantity of answers I received and continue to, today. 

It's been revealed to me that there is a double meaning for that old scripture about the "talents" which in newer translations and in a literal sense are actually coins. 

The meaning I received this time was that each person is given gifts, talents, abilities, what have you... You have a choice to make about what you will do with them. 

You can do NOTHING and have NOTHING to show for your life whenever you meet your maker, or you can JUST DO IT. Whatever IT is. Do what you were made for, be it one thing or one thousand things.

I'm in a new season now. One of my many callings is to be a GOOD mother and wife, a constant struggle, I'll admit. Now, I'm teaching my littles how to sing and make music and especially to love the Lord. 

We're not all called to be writers, or singers, or artists, or even mothers, but some of us are called to do all these things and more! 

What will you DO with what you've been GIVEN?

-now I've got to go watch Armageddon on Netflix so I can remember the reason for the emotion and get a good cry out. 

Be blessed, my friends,

Delanie

Have children, they say... it'll be fun, they say...

I've been incredibly blessed with two of the smartest, most beautiful little creatures God ever made, but let me tell you something; I've got my work cut out for me with these two!

One moment, my sweet little princess is hugging my leg and giggling up at me with her little dimples and curls, the next she's throwing herself face down onto the floor with a shrill that would rival a banshee because I picked up a pen from off of the floor, she wished to chew on. No joke.

Then there is her big brother. Says he's hungry, then refuses his chicken nuggets (his favorite meal) only to ask for a snack of chocolate pudding five minutes later because his "tummy is rumbly." This is of course after he had a meltdown over receiving the wrong colored cup to drink from.

I can remember hearing stories of "terrible twos" and "threenagers" and thinking, "Whatever, man! My kids wont be throwing themselves down and acting like that!" In my defense though, I'm pretty sure we're all parenting experts until we have our own children.

I find myself increasingly thankful for parenting forums, if for no other reason than to assure me that I'm not the only one barely hanging on to my sanity some days.

In all seriousness though, I'm so thankful for these little boogers. They've inspired me to grow more as a person than ever before, and shown me a depth of love I didn't know was possible.

Have children, I'd say... it can be fun, I'd say...

-Delanie

Wash your sink before you wash the dishes

Apparently this is totally a thing.

A friend and I were having tea and discussing the woes of parenting whenever she disclosed a dirty little secret to me, of her teenaged children, "They wont even do the dishes," she exclaimed, "They gripe that it's too much to have to wash the sink out first." This she claimed with a roll of the eyes.

I had to confess, with a burning face, "I have to say, in all honesty, I've never thought to wash out the sink before the dishes, but now that you say it, it makes total sense!"

How silly of me.

Truly though, I cannot count the times I've found myself in trouble for not doing something that I "should have known to do."

Common sense is NOT common.

Normal means an entirely different thing to me than to you.

Perhaps we'd do better to first explain what is expected to those we wish to lead in the proper direction.

I can assure you that since this conversation took place, in all confidence, I do now wash my sink before washing the dishes.

Strange what a careless word from another human can make you want to do.

-a reminiscent Delanie 

A single word that rocked the world, Tetelestai

Confession: I'm totally a nerd. I get ridiculously excited whenever I learn a new word, especially whenever said word reflects something I've always wanted to articulate or is somehow related to something I'm interested in. I had a word come to me from an unexpected source recently and it absolutely blew my mind and drove me to do a ton of research and dig deeper into God's word in a whole new way.

A friend of mine, who is a tattoo artist, shared one of his recent works on instagram and it was simply a word, written in cursive, on someone's hip. The word is Tetelestai. Initially I was simply going to scroll past, but curiosity got the better of me and I did a quick google search of the word. What I found went right in line with what I had been studying through the weekend, due to the timing of his post; Easter Sunday.

In case you are as ignorant as I was about it, Tetelestai was the final word of Jesus Christ. It's actually a greek word that has two meanings; both, "It is finished," and, "Paid in full." I was so glad I took the two seconds to look it up! The more I read about the deep meaning of the word itself, the better I began to understand the sacrifice he made for us all and the mind boggling foreknowledge he possessed of what was to come, then the incomprehensible act of actually following though to completion, knowing the price to pay was his mortal life.

This one word has sparked my curiosity in another way as well, I wonder how many more "word concepts" there are throughout the bible? 

"When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." John 19:30

-curiosity may have killed the cat, but it's truly amazing what it can lead you to discover,

Delanie

Funny thing about growing in Relationship with God, good habits help.

After the Fast:
My previous post was outlining a plan I had agreed to, with God, to take a moment with Him. I'm not sure exactly how I expected to be able to articulate what he was going to do in and through me during this time, but I knew it was important that I share what I was setting out to do.

As it turns out, this 40 days with God adventure was an incredibly personal and deep revival for me. Not exactly something I'd put out there for every Tom, Dick and Harry to read.

That being said, there were many concepts and principles He brought me that I believe I should share with whoever chooses to read what I write, so here is a nugget for your patience:

In order to Create Sustainable Change you must Cultivate New Habits.

To cultivate the habits I wished to form, I learned, I was going to need to be more flexible. "Blessed are the Flexible," another thing my pastor says, meaning we must adapt to changes and roll with the punches flying our way, and God will bless the pursuit of a thing.

A chink in my chain was made evident to me within the first week of my fast, whenever I discovered the inconsistency of my children's nap patterns and how little time for studying His word I had unintentionally allotted myself. I was forced to reconsider my plan and ended up waking an hour before my children in the morning to ensure my daily time alone with God. I had begun to try to create a new habit, but lack of consistency botched that attempt pretty quickly.

After a month, I was forced to stretch my flexibility muscles again as I began to work in a daycare, where I then needed to wake another hour earlier than before to achieve my personal goal of that hour alone to read and study.

Fast forward to now, eight months later, and I'm seeing the fruit of my labor. I no longer work for the daycare, but I am seeing to it that I retain the good habit I successfully formed during my stint back into the workforce.

Currently I am one week into another 40 Day Fast, this time from Facebook. I found myself checking my phone constantly and getting irritated at people for wanting to talk to me physically because I was so caught up in the lives of people I'm only aware of in their digital profiles; I felt strongly that there must be something inherently wrong with this, so here I am.

On that train of thought, I must say, this has been a very peaceful week!

-Hoping you have personal time with God as well, 
Delanie