Delusions of Grandeur

*Nerd alert*

Periodically throughout my adult life, I come to a place where I crave a deep and complex story. I love to read and recently have started to do that again (difficult task with small children), and someone told me there are a gazillion (his word) Star Wars books out there... I foresee a visit to the library in my future! 

Love me some Star Wars. 

I'm sure I'm not the only one, but I tend to prefer to watch Episode IV first, then V and VI, before going back to watch Episode I, II and III (Now there are more, so this may change). The development of the story and a better understanding of the complex and interwoven storylines seems to come out of it this way. Maybe it's just me... 

Anywho, we recently had our annual Star Wars Marathon, where we raid my dad's movie collection and borrow all six of the first Star Wars movies to binge watch (sometimes more than once through).

I love how good movies always have new little nuggets of information for you to take away, each time you watch. I caught one, this go round whenever Han said, "I'm out of it for a little while, [and] everybody gets delusions of Grandeur!" 

He was not the first person in the series to say the phrase, pretty sure C-3P0 said it of R2-D2 whenever the hyper drive wasn't working on the Millennium Falcon and R2-D2 stubbornly fixed the ship in spite of C-3P0's criticism. 

Just a thought here, bear with me. 

In each instance, Luke and R2-D2 carried out the exact intended purpose they set forth to accomplish.

Funny thing about KNOWING what you're doing; from the outside, it may look like you've lost your mind.

Sticking to what you KNOW and doing what you DO, in spite of the imminent criticism sure to fly your way, GETS THINGS DONE. 

as that chunky dude that all made us laugh in high school said, "Git 'er done!"

~You do you, I'll do me, we get a lot more done that way,

Delanie

When calls the heart...

Music is Emotion, expressed out loud, can't you feel it?

It's probably been over ten years since I've watched Armageddon, but if I hear the song "I don't want to miss a thing," my throat gets tight and my heart aches... it's been so long I'm not even sure why anymore, but THAT'S the power of music. 

Technically time travel doesn't exist, but turn on a song you listened to, sang or heard repeatedly at some emotionally charged point in your life and FEEL for yourself the power music has to transport you to another time and place. 

Can I confess something to you? A dirty little secret? 

My main issue with church as a kid was the music. *drops the mic

I wanted so badly to connect with God at church, but whenever the seemingly random songs were sung, and I read along with the repetitive and dry lyrics, I found myself angry rather than praiseful. Angry on behalf of God, whom we were supposed to be passionately praising. The lack of emotion evoked in the songs left me with a bitter taste in my mouth and a feeling that something wasn't altogether right, here. 

I remember whenever that all changed. It was around sixth grade, whenever a friend, invited me to go to "Pre-games" where a bunch of us kids could walk to a local house after school and eat snacks, hang out and wait for the church van to pick us up, then we'd all ride together to church where our parents could pick us up afterwards. 

I found something at that church that I had never experienced before. Something new and refreshing and PASSIONATE; tear-jerking praise and worship music, delivered by a rag tag band of Jesus loving people who led so many of us wayward youths into a closer walk with Him. 

My heart was broken and yet strangely the ache deep in me was quenched at the same time. 

I remember, it was Kyle Sherman (before he was big time on the radio, You Go Man!!!) who sang lead and played guitar. 

It was so real and raw and I knew shortly after I started attending there that I would one day sing praise and worship on stage and lead groups to Jesus through the God given ability he had blessed me personally with.

That was the beginning of something.

Then, years later, after much living, learning and growing, I was invited to another church that took that love of Jesus and all things Kingdom to a whole new level. 

I was compelled by the spirit in me to offer my time to help in any way I could, but ultimately I felt called to the praise team, and as He would have it, that's exactly where I found my overflow. I've never felt so passionate for the Lord as I did singing with those wonderful people. I would just close my eyes, raise my free hand, sing and sometimes cry as I swayed to the beat. 

My heart was so full. It was the most amazing thing, to do something I've loved doing since I could speak, but have never been confident enough to do in front of anyone, until then.

I've been terrified to sing in front of anyone my entire life, and the story of how God developed me; my character, my maturity, and especially my Confidence, is quite something.

So I can sing... okay. Does that make it a Calling? I think so, but lets dig deeper.

One of the big questions I had for God, whenever I took my 40 Day Fast from church, was, "What am Called to do?" 

The scary part is not that he answered, but the quantity of answers I received and continue to, today. 

It's been revealed to me that there is a double meaning for that old scripture about the "talents" which in newer translations and in a literal sense are actually coins. 

The meaning I received this time was that each person is given gifts, talents, abilities, what have you... You have a choice to make about what you will do with them. 

You can do NOTHING and have NOTHING to show for your life whenever you meet your maker, or you can JUST DO IT. Whatever IT is. Do what you were made for, be it one thing or one thousand things.

I'm in a new season now. One of my many callings is to be a GOOD mother and wife, a constant struggle, I'll admit. Now, I'm teaching my littles how to sing and make music and especially to love the Lord. 

We're not all called to be writers, or singers, or artists, or even mothers, but some of us are called to do all these things and more! 

What will you DO with what you've been GIVEN?

-now I've got to go watch Armageddon on Netflix so I can remember the reason for the emotion and get a good cry out. 

Be blessed, my friends,

Delanie

Have children, they say... it'll be fun, they say...

I've been incredibly blessed with two of the smartest, most beautiful little creatures God ever made, but let me tell you something; I've got my work cut out for me with these two!

One moment, my sweet little princess is hugging my leg and giggling up at me with her little dimples and curls, the next she's throwing herself face down onto the floor with a shrill that would rival a banshee because I picked up a pen from off of the floor, she wished to chew on. No joke.

Then there is her big brother. Says he's hungry, then refuses his chicken nuggets (his favorite meal) only to ask for a snack of chocolate pudding five minutes later because his "tummy is rumbly." This is of course after he had a meltdown over receiving the wrong colored cup to drink from.

I can remember hearing stories of "terrible twos" and "threenagers" and thinking, "Whatever, man! My kids wont be throwing themselves down and acting like that!" In my defense though, I'm pretty sure we're all parenting experts until we have our own children.

I find myself increasingly thankful for parenting forums, if for no other reason than to assure me that I'm not the only one barely hanging on to my sanity some days.

In all seriousness though, I'm so thankful for these little boogers. They've inspired me to grow more as a person than ever before, and shown me a depth of love I didn't know was possible.

Have children, I'd say... it can be fun, I'd say...

-Delanie

Wash your sink before you wash the dishes

Apparently this is totally a thing.

A friend and I were having tea and discussing the woes of parenting whenever she disclosed a dirty little secret to me, of her teenaged children, "They wont even do the dishes," she exclaimed, "They gripe that it's too much to have to wash the sink out first." This she claimed with a roll of the eyes.

I had to confess, with a burning face, "I have to say, in all honesty, I've never thought to wash out the sink before the dishes, but now that you say it, it makes total sense!"

How silly of me.

Truly though, I cannot count the times I've found myself in trouble for not doing something that I "should have known to do."

Common sense is NOT common.

Normal means an entirely different thing to me than to you.

Perhaps we'd do better to first explain what is expected to those we wish to lead in the proper direction.

I can assure you that since this conversation took place, in all confidence, I do now wash my sink before washing the dishes.

Strange what a careless word from another human can make you want to do.

-a reminiscent Delanie 

A single word that rocked the world, Tetelestai

Confession: I'm totally a nerd. I get ridiculously excited whenever I learn a new word, especially whenever said word reflects something I've always wanted to articulate or is somehow related to something I'm interested in. I had a word come to me from an unexpected source recently and it absolutely blew my mind and drove me to do a ton of research and dig deeper into God's word in a whole new way.

A friend of mine, who is a tattoo artist, shared one of his recent works on instagram and it was simply a word, written in cursive, on someone's hip. The word is Tetelestai. Initially I was simply going to scroll past, but curiosity got the better of me and I did a quick google search of the word. What I found went right in line with what I had been studying through the weekend, due to the timing of his post; Easter Sunday.

In case you are as ignorant as I was about it, Tetelestai was the final word of Jesus Christ. It's actually a greek word that has two meanings; both, "It is finished," and, "Paid in full." I was so glad I took the two seconds to look it up! The more I read about the deep meaning of the word itself, the better I began to understand the sacrifice he made for us all and the mind boggling foreknowledge he possessed of what was to come, then the incomprehensible act of actually following though to completion, knowing the price to pay was his mortal life.

This one word has sparked my curiosity in another way as well, I wonder how many more "word concepts" there are throughout the bible? 

"When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." John 19:30

-curiosity may have killed the cat, but it's truly amazing what it can lead you to discover,

Delanie

Funny thing about growing in Relationship with God, good habits help.

After the Fast:
My previous post was outlining a plan I had agreed to, with God, to take a moment with Him. I'm not sure exactly how I expected to be able to articulate what he was going to do in and through me during this time, but I knew it was important that I share what I was setting out to do.

As it turns out, this 40 days with God adventure was an incredibly personal and deep revival for me. Not exactly something I'd put out there for every Tom, Dick and Harry to read.

That being said, there were many concepts and principles He brought me that I believe I should share with whoever chooses to read what I write, so here is a nugget for your patience:

In order to Create Sustainable Change you must Cultivate New Habits.

To cultivate the habits I wished to form, I learned, I was going to need to be more flexible. "Blessed are the Flexible," another thing my pastor says, meaning we must adapt to changes and roll with the punches flying our way, and God will bless the pursuit of a thing.

A chink in my chain was made evident to me within the first week of my fast, whenever I discovered the inconsistency of my children's nap patterns and how little time for studying His word I had unintentionally allotted myself. I was forced to reconsider my plan and ended up waking an hour before my children in the morning to ensure my daily time alone with God. I had begun to try to create a new habit, but lack of consistency botched that attempt pretty quickly.

After a month, I was forced to stretch my flexibility muscles again as I began to work in a daycare, where I then needed to wake another hour earlier than before to achieve my personal goal of that hour alone to read and study.

Fast forward to now, eight months later, and I'm seeing the fruit of my labor. I no longer work for the daycare, but I am seeing to it that I retain the good habit I successfully formed during my stint back into the workforce.

Currently I am one week into another 40 Day Fast, this time from Facebook. I found myself checking my phone constantly and getting irritated at people for wanting to talk to me physically because I was so caught up in the lives of people I'm only aware of in their digital profiles; I felt strongly that there must be something inherently wrong with this, so here I am.

On that train of thought, I must say, this has been a very peaceful week!

-Hoping you have personal time with God as well, 
Delanie